I Just Don't Understand

My mind wanders when I drive, dangerously so when the weather is treacherous, but it only happens when I am alone in the car. This week I was thinking about the negative comments I had made in the past about a couple of different movies. Movies I really hate stand out because there are so few of them. There are many movies I love, many movies that I like and even some to which I am completely indifferent. I find that if I am disappointed in a movie, then, well, I am disappointed. To me, that is still miles away from hatred. I reserve my hatred for movies that I really, well, you know, dislike. The two I can think of right away are Palindromes and The Doom Generation. As with any movie discussed on the internet, those who really like the movies claim that those who do not simply do not understand the movies.
This led me to wonder about the link between understanding and loving. Is it possible to love something – or someone – that you simply do not understand? I will admit that I did not really understand either Palindromes or The Doom Generation. Both seemed rather pointless to me and I was annoyed while watching them. But, then I can’t say that I really understood Mulholland Drive, either, but I really liked the movie. So, I can’t say that there is a direct correlation between love and understanding in my own cinematic universe.
Of course, this led me to wonder about whether it is possible, in relationships, to love someone you do not completely understand. To this, I have to shout a definite “yes!”
I love both of the men in my house, the very tall cute one and the very short cute one, but I can’t pretend to fully understand either of them. No matter how long I live with them, there are mysteries that I will never solve, and once that may have bothered me, but, now it does not. For example, what would possess someone to dump any entire box of minute rice all over the kitchen floor? This, I admit, I do not understand.
So, I asked my husband if he thought it was possible to love someone you didn’t truly understand. He replied that he thought it was possible to love someone and not understand why. Later, he elaborated, using Eraserhead as an example (a movie on which I cannot comment, as I have not yet seen it). “I don’t understand it,” he said, smiling at me. “But that is what I love about it. There are plenty of movies that are really easy to understand. But I don’t think you have to understand something completely to love it completely.” I agree. Now, if I could just get him to stop dumping rice on the floor.