Monday, October 29, 2007

Minding My Queue

I haven't had the opportunity in the last few weeks to update my Netflix queue, so movies that I added over a year ago have finally worked their way to the top of the list. Unfortunately, this is not always good. Right after I brought Sully home, Psycho was waiting for me in the mailbox. Despite the line "A boy's best friend is his mother," it is not the best mother/son bonding movie I could have watched (though a good Halloween movie). Even worse was the day that Sophie's Choice arrived. That is not a movie I would recommend for any mom, but particularly not for a new mom with two small children. I would also not recommend Kramer vs. Kramer, which broke my heart in half before I ever had children.
So, Friday, October 26th has come and gone and instead of a newborn, I now have a 18-day-old infant. Every day I mean to post a new blog, but there just doesn't seem to be time. Between diaper changes and feedings, adjusting to new sleep schedules and mothering a three-year-old, I barely even have time to spend with Jeff. However, as sleep deprived as we all are, when we do spend time together, it is fun time, happy time. We've all managed to maintain our senses of humor. Jude is a big part of that, a funny, happy guy. When Jude decided to use my breast pump on his stomach, it was impossible not to laugh. When he comes running through the door saying "Sullivan, look what I can do!" it is impossible not to smile.

No one tells you, though, about the darker side of mothering. The total, disorienting lack of sleep. The unflattering nicknames you assign to your tiny spawn. (Though Sullivan started out as "Pumpkin" and "Sweetie," now, more often than not, I call him "Farty Bootie." That name really explains itself. Jude, who even as a baby would never stay still, was called "Fidget the Midget.") No one told me that after hours spent watching The Wiggles, I would start to have inappropriate dreams about them. And no one mentioned how it would break my heart to see my older child cling to his father because I have a baby constantly attached to me. This morning, though, Jude climbed onto the couch next to us (as we watched The Wiggles, the hot, hot, naughty Wiggles) and asked me to rub his back and as I did, I cried because for a few moments he was my little boy again.

As promised, here is a photo or two of the baby:



Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Yet More In The World Of Baby

In the movies, labor is always signified by a woman's rupture of membranes and her calm declaration "My water just broke." Then, the boyfriend/husband/sperm donor acts like a complete jackass, running around trying to get her to the hospital as though the baby is about to fall out onto the floor. If you only watched movies or tv, it would be easy to assume that every labor situation is the same. But, if you are pregnant (or with someone or know someone who is pregnant) and attend prenatal classes or read any books, you quickly learn that labor is different for everyone, but hardly ever will a woman's water break and she will immediately have a baby. Much emphasis is placed on the fact that much of labor may even be spent at home, timing contractions and such until it is a suitable time to go to the hospital.

Last Thursday, October 11, I was sitting on the couch, waiting for dinner when I felt an odd sensation, as though I may have peed a little (yes, gross I know). Then, I stood up and knew for certain that my water had broken. I calmly told Jeff "I think my water just broke." He was amazing, calm, getting Jude's dinner wrapped up and grabbing my hospital bag so we could get to the hospital. I wasn't having any contractions so I wasn't quite sure what I should do, but going to the hospital seemed like a good plan, especially since I was leaving a trail of amniotic fluid (again, gross, I know). Apparently when a pregnant woman's water breaks, the baby is usually (not always, but usually) in a birth-ready position, head down, acting pretty much like a cork in a bottle, stopping the gush of water. However, in my case, the baby had not dropped into position.

I was admitted into the hospital and the doctor was called. The nurses assumed that I would just be allowed to rest and the baby would be born in the morning. The on-call doctor came in and examined me and declared "You're having a baby tonight." So, Jeff called our parents and I was taken to the operating room. Having a c-section is definitely no picnic; I had forgotten the joy of getting a spinal block, which, as you may guess from the name, involves the insertion of needles directly into the spine. It is very effective for numbing, however. We arrived at the hospital around 7:00 and at 10:21, little Sullivan David was born. He was in a breech position and as soon as the doctor made the incision, his feet popped out. She touched his feet to guide him out and he pulled his feet back inside.

Sullivan is a healthy little cutie. He weighed 7 pounds, 11 ounces (four ounces more than Jude did) and was 20 1/2 inches long. He has blue eyes and dark, dark hair (again, just as Jude did). Baby and Mom are both doing well. Pictures will be posted soon.

Thursday, October 4, 2007

If Baby Fell

When I awoke Tuesday morning at 4:00 am, I knew I was destined to not get any more sleep for the evening. As a pregnancy "veteran", I was certain I knew what was going on, so when I woke up and felt immense pressure on my thighs, I thought "this must be it. The baby has dropped." Granted, Jude never did drop, but I was still certain that this feeling, although new, was something I understood. All day I felt the same pressure, literally as though the baby were resting on the top of my legs, which understandably meant that it was difficult to walk. I stepped up my efforts to get things ready for the baby, certain that this latest development meant that I would never make it to my c-section date (which is only 22 days away). I was tired and irritable, certain that those were signs, too, that my hormones were supercharged, ready for the big day. I still felt baby's movement, but much differently than I was used to, another sign to me that it was getting ready to happen.

I went to sleep that night and slept hard, something that hadn't happened in months (literally). When I awoke in the morning, the first thing I noticed was that the pressure was gone and the familiar kicks were back, near and to my bladder. So that just proves, I guess, that I know absolutely nothing about being pregnant and that labor is likely not imminent. I am also not as in touch with my own body as I thought. I've had contractions (ones I can actually feel) that are so sporadic that at least I know they aren't labor pains. It is comforting to be certain about something at least.

Work irritation of the week: Tuesday, in addition to the pressure I felt, I got really nauseated and disappeared into the rest room. As I was getting sick, I heard the door open and someone called out "hello?" to which I replied "Hello," though in a much more irritated tone of voice. I finished, then headed back to my desk where one boss (not my main boss, but a secondary one) was standing, waiting for me. Apparently he sent someone who had stopped by into the bathroom to check on me. "I'm sorry; I got sick," I said, to which he replied "Well, I couldn't find you and I have something for you to do." This "something" was stuffing checks into envelopes. He had the checks and the envelopes, but apparently couldn't perform the very difficult end step of placing the checks into the envelopes without my assistance. Ah, the compassion. I rather wished I had gotten sick on his shoes instead of wasting it in the bathroom.

Arbitrary addition to my blog: Song of the day. Today's song of the day is "We Both Go Down Together" by The Decembrists. I love it. I am trying to determine how I could come from weatlth and beauty and be untouched by work or duty, but, so far, no luck.

Monday, October 1, 2007

It's All About Looks

Generally, I pay more attention to the dialogue and acting in a film than to the “look” of the picture, but three movies that I saw recently stood out to me because they looked so different from one another.

Pan’s Labyrinth is very dark in both the realistic and fantastical portions of the story. The fantasy sections are really amazing and well done, and the darkness definitely suits the movie’s tone. It is a somber film and the fantasy sections are not light-hearted diversions. Overall, not a feel-good movie, but worth a look just to see, well, the look of it.

A Scanner Darkly is very different in appearance not only from Pan’s Labyrinth, but also from any other film you’re likely to see. Filmed in “rotoscope animation” it has a very unique and disconcerting look that suits the film’s subject matter – that of drug addiction. Even though it is a bit funnier than I thought it would be, I found the movie to be a bit confusing as well, but maybe that is the point. Regardless, it is a decent, if not great, film.

Shortbus could not be more different in style. It is shot almost documentary-style. What sets apart Shortbus is the sex. Much of the movie is composed of stark and real sex scenes. That is not to say that the sex is particularly erotic. Even though there are a couple of “titillating” scenes, in general the sex just serves to move the story forward -- unlike in some movies. Yes, Caligulia, I’m talking about you. (Sidenote: A special three-disc DVD set of Caligulia is due to be released soon and Jeff has hinted this might make a good Christmas gift for me. I have taken some time on my day off to consult an attorney to determine whether this would constitute an “act of cruelty.”) This is my favorite of the three, but mostly because I dug the characters (well, most of them anyway).

Work irritation of the week: The past couple of weeks have included holidays, so I have only been working three-day weeks. Of course, I don’t get paid for holidays. I am told over and over that there is so much I need to do before I take maternity leave, yet today (Monday), I was told to work a half-day (even though this will be a three-day week as well). I simply told the bosses that there is too much to do for me to do that (and I really can’t afford it – not with a baby coming). So, I worked a full day. Still, I got to exercise my eye-rolling abilities with the contradictory “you have so much to do – take the day off” messages that I keep getting.