Saturday, January 31, 2009

The Week in Review -- Last Week, That Is

As usual, this blog is behind. Just a week behind, though and not months as usual, so at least that is something!

What would lead a relatively normal (hey, I maintain that I am at least relatively normal) woman to spend her Friday night soaking in a hot bath, watching a DVD? Well, any number of reasons.

1. I never have. And we have a portable DVD player that never gets used. What better use than perched (safely!) on the edge of the pink bathtub where I could watch it?

2. The DVD was from the box set season 6 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. The particular episode "Once More With Feeling" is one of my favorite of the whole series. So, I soaked and watched and attempted to relax.

3. It has been a challenging week. I have the headache to prove it. Monday, my boss and then my other boss decided to talk to one another and then to me about the influx of new files we have. Apparently the files than have been backed up for more than 6 months (and I have been there for 3) need to be caught up RIGHT NOW. This is my job. This stresses me a bit. This, as it turns out, was the least stressful part of my week.

The children and I are all (still!!) suffering from Fifth Disease (it's real -- go ahead and look it up). It has been kicking our booties this winter, particularly mine. The kids have had the rash and poor reddened cheeks for weeks and weeks and weeks and weeks. Not much to do for it, though, other than let it run its ridiculously long course.

Wednesday, we had a doctor's appointment for Jude. He has been having problems for some time and as I have never had a four year old before, I don't know if there is really something wrong or if it is Jude being difficult. He turns up the television constantly, swearing he cannot hear it. Yet, he seems to have no problem interrupting/hearing/maitaining a conversation. Still, we took him to the doctor because of our concerns.

Jude had a preliminary hearing test, a screening generally reserved for older kids and adults. He did not pass. He seemed to understand the test and did well performing it, but his hearing results showed below normal. So, our next step there will be with an ENT (otorhynolaryngologist) at the end of February.

Of course following this bit of info, I have had to rethink each "Jude, why don't you listen?" that I asked of him.

So we settled in back at home, absorbing this bit of news. Thursday evening my stepdad called me with the news that my Uncle Dennis (my mom's youngest brother) wasn't expected to make it through the evening. Two hours later, Bob called back to let me know that Dennis had passed away.

Uncle Dennis has been sick for some time with cancer so it wasn't entirely unexpected, but it was still difficult, particularly witnessing how difficult it was for my mom and my aunts and uncles to handle.

On Friday evening, we decided to have a quiet family dinner out, just the four of us. Jude ordered a pizza (a tiny, child size pizza) and Sully basically ate what everyone else was eating.

Jude picked at his pizza, barely eating and then asked for a snack. His request was, of course, denied. He then stated that he was full and didn't want any more food or a snack. Since he clearly didn't plan to eat any more, there wasn't much we could do.

So, we packed up and headed across the icy tundra of the parking lot. Jude was holding my hand and two steps into the (very crowded) parking lot, he began screaming at the top of his four-year-old lungs "I'm starving. It isn't fair. I'm so hungry." I was beyond mortified. When he got home, he got neither more food nor a snack. He claimed again he was full.

After the week that was, I longed to just soak in a hot bath. Since I finally finished and returned my boss's Vonnegut, I decided to watch a DVD in the bath instead. This is one lazy-step beyond watching a DVD in bed, which is the epitome of decadence to me.

Song of the Day: for a tough week, let's go with "Give Me Something to Sing About" from that Buffy episode. I love the sentiment; don't give me songs. Give me something to sing about.

Now I think I'm headed into the bathroom. The warm water is calling me. No DVDs though. How lazy do you think I am? Oh, seriously. It isn't like I spend all my time soaking in hot baths, just lounging around once the children are in bed and oh, don't look at me/the computer that way. Sigh. Fine. I'm going to watch "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia." Are you happy?

I need a laugh.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

What Are You Reading?

So, if you were to ask me what I'm reading, I would likely lie. Nothing against you. I don't read books very often; I used to devour them before I had children. And I have the most wonderful discussions about books with a coworker. She and I have strikingly similar taste in books and are together lamenting the decline of readership in America, though, I did admit to her my own lack of book reading in the past few years.

If you were to ask, I would tell you with a little laugh that I had borrowed a book from my boss, a Kurt Vonnegut I hadn't read before. And that would be completely true. At my office Christmas party, I was a bit social and I drank a bit of wine (white wine. I can't be more specific than that; I lack sophistication in all matters of wine consumption). Beyond that, though, I spent an extensive amount of time browsing my boss's library, an eclectic collection of some damn good books.

On Monday after the party, I admitted to my boss that I had been browsing through his books and was interested in the Vonnegut books he had. We had a long talk about the party and about Vonnegut and he lent the book to me.

It is a delightful story and I fully intend to start reading the book any day now. But right now, my brain, addled by sickness and general sleeplessness, is incapable of processing anything more than "New Moon."

Last year, I admitted to having read "Twilight," fascinated by the sheer publishing power this book had. And I was sucked into the story, so much so that I had to also read "New Moon" and will eventually get around to the other two.

To some, the protagonist, Bella, is melodramatic; those people either have never been or cannot recall being teenage girls. Teenage girls can definitely be melodramatic, moody and absolutely certain that their love lives (or lack thereof) are the most important things in the world. Every time I turn a page and am tempted to criticize poor Bella, I recall my teenage crushes, recall each heartache visited upon my teenage self and I realize why the book is such a sensation. I am not in any way negating the essence of teenage girls or trying to generalize; I just recall my own experiences. I am alternately drawn to the story, and ashamed that I am drawn to it.

I am very close to the end of Moon and plan to start Vonnegut any day now. So, if you want to ask what I'm reading, just wait a few days and I'll be happy to discuss it with you.

It is with sadness that I announce that Dung! is now defunct. For some reason, the username and password no longer work and so there will be no further updates. I will miss being the Queen of the dungheap, but I am sure as the year progresses, a new blog will emerge.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Late Last Night

Just a quick post as I am eager to get to sleep and see if my coughing of the past 20 (!) days will finally cease when I lie down.

Last night was a rather comedy of errors around here, the sort of strange series of pratfalls that would almost be funny if they didn't involve people I love so fiercely.

We were eating dinner and Jude, who has his mom's natural grace (okay, total lack thereof) somehow managed to knock his tray (yep, dinner tray) over, falling forward onto the hardwood floor and hitting his face. We rushed into the bathroom to check for loose teeth and bloody anything and he was crying, saying his chin hurt. But crying in that hysterical way that makes my heart nearly stop each time I hear it. He cried so hard that he began throwing up. Jeff was helping him while I hovered and neither of us saw Sully come into the bathroom.

Sully wandered in to see what was happening and managed to trip over Jeff's legs and bang his head hard on the pink bathub. Jeff scooped up Sully so I could take over Jude and his vomiting and Sully did the awful thing he hasn't done in a long time: he stopped breathing.

I could hear Jeff saying "Breathe, damn it, breathe" and my heart stopped again when I looked out into the hallway and saw Sully fall limp in Jeff's arms. I know I mentioned it before but I cannot possible articulate how awful it is to behold. And he didn't seem to want to start breathing again.

So I stopped my Jude puke duties and rushed to Sullivan who finally decided to start breathing. He was purple and listless, his eyes dazed and there was a huge knot on his forehead.

Today, both are back to normal.

Or at least what passes for normal around here.

Song of the Day: "I Want To Be Sedated" by The Ramones. Because sometimes I really do. Oh, and I like to sing along to it.

Sunday, January 4, 2009

It's Never Too Late

I am tardy. Quite tardy in updating this blog, but I plan to rectify that, as I have missed this forum in which to prattle on and on about this and that. Last year (!) I had an epiphany regarding Jude that was rather profound and which has slightly altered my relationship with him.

Jude is four. A very frustrating four. I have learned over the course of many, many months that there is apparently no statement I can make to Jude to which "Why?" is not an appropriate response.

"Jude, it is dinner time." "Why?"

"Jude, we need to pick up this mess." "Why?"

"Jude, we're going to grandma's and then to papa's house." "Why?"

Well, you get the idea.

Jude is constantly running late, a procrastinator. Frustrating with his general inquisitiveness because it extends to EVERYTHING. He is sensitive, cries when his feelings are hurt and is physically incapable of not making a mess. In short . . .

Jude is just like me.

No, that's not fair. He is his own person to be certain. But each bad quality I see in myself is magnified when I look at Jude. And suddenly I remember what it was like to be a kid and cry because my feelings were hurt and being told that I needed to "toughen up." Well, thirty years later and I am still not tough.

But I get so frustrated with Jude. I don't know if this is typical for parents with four-year-olds, but I can't believe mine is such a special case in terms of frustration.



I've lost my temper with him and when I do, I recall others losing their tempers with me. I think of the idea of a mother with infinite patience, a calm tone and healing hands and that angelic creature is completely not me. I'm human, frustratingly so. But I want to be a good parent and I work very hard at it.

Sully, by contrast, is quite smily. He is walking all the time, into everything and chatters a good deal. This pre-speech sounds like a bunch of squeaks and noises of happiness and I love it. In temperament, we are not similar, but I love him very much. He is a calming presence in our chaotic home. I've grown accustomed to the chaos, though.



I find it is most difficult for me to write in quiet anymore. I need the sounds of someone pounding on the Bob the Builder toolset. I need to hear the sounds of lego castles being built and destroyed.

Most of all, I need to hear the sound of tiny feet on hard wood floors, exploring, laughing and crying. Here.

Movie Review of a Movie You've Already Seen or Never Plan to See: Elf. I realize it is after Christmas, but Jude has just discovered Elf and he has declared it to be "a funny movie." I agree; Will Ferrell is very funny. It is funny and touching and enjoyable.

Song of the Day: "If You're Not the One" from Daniel Bedingfield.