Anticipation

All week I have had the weird, tingly sort of feeling that comes with anticipation. Could it be because of my new job? Well, I had really been looking forward to the job, so the anticipation early in the week certainly had to do with my new work environment. Now that I have a week under my belt, I can comment: I really like the new place. It is a small office: there are three other women and three men and everyone has been really nice. Also, it is quite busy -- something I am not quite used to, but I like the challenge. Already I have discovered the joy of having a salaried position -- my first -- and I have fallen back in love with direct deposit (something not available at my last jon). So, all in all, it has been good.

But the anticipation goes deeper than that. Could it be the arrival of Arsenic and Old Lace from Netflix? Finally, movies that I put on my queue well over a year ago are being mailed to my house. I absolutely adore Cary Grant and watched Arsenic first thing this morning. It is good -- quite funny -- though not quite as good as The Philadelphia Story or His Girl Friday. My personal favorites, though, are The Awful Truth and An Affair to Remember. Still, I would recommend it.

After seeing the movie, I realized that I still felt anticipation. Could it be for spring? Jude has unfolded his tent in the living room, eager to be able to take the tent outside and sleep in it with Daddy. I share his enthusiasm; winter cannot end soon enough. This should prove to be a big summer for Jude. He turns four, the minimum age for soccer and we plan to enroll him. Also, we have started looking at preschools part-time for next fall. Summer means swimming and a trip to the zoo and more trips to visit grandparents. So, there is that anticipation deep inside, excited for the seasons to come.

But, mostly my anticipation today is for Sullivan. Today is a big day in his life. Today, he starts rice cereal. So, all morning, I have been watching him for signs of hunger (they aren't too subtle, actually. He wails as though his heart is broken until food is brought to his face). Sully has two primary moods: happy, contented, smiling mood and why-aren't-you-feeding-me-right-now-before-I-starve mood. He has been in mood one for most of the morning, which I love to watch. Then, about fifteen minutes ago, he started fussing a bit so I headed to the kitchen, excited, and mixed up a perfect potion of cereal and formula. I set up his tiny little bear bouncy seat and went to get him. By the time I got to him, though, he was sound asleep on the couch. So, cereal will have to wait. I am so excited, though, to see his reaction. There is nothing more amazing than watching your child experience something for the first time. There will be plenty of firsts for Jude and even more firsts for Sullivan.

And even though I may cry just a little at each new hurdle my little guys jump over, there are pools of happiness behind those tears. And enjoyment of the present. And sweet, sweet anticipation of their futures.