A Tale of Two Kiddies

I have had to rename my children. It isn't that I don't like the names Jude and Sullivan anymore; I still do like them very much. However, the four-year-old (previously known as Jude) shall now be known as Drama King (maybe Drama Prince, because of his age) and the ten-month-old (previously known as Sullivan) shall henceforth be known as Biter Baby.

This weekend, I was able to see Drama King in all his glory. DK, who used to be able to share tv/movie time, has now decided that he does not care to do so anymore. Whenever he is called upon to turn away from his special television time (time which consists of putting in, but never actually sitting down to watch) a movie or television show (and, yes, I would much rather he play than watch tv), he does not share willingly. After a few episodes of SpongeBob SquarePants, I calmly explained to DK that although the exploits of an under-the-sea dwelling anthropomorphic sponge are entertaining, it was time to move on to something else. DK then raised his arm in -- what else? -- dramatic fashion and boldly declared "You never let me watch anything." The drama. The pathos. For a moment, I was touched by his plight.



Then, my attention was diverted by the baby. He crawled by at top speed, pausing to look up at me and smile. He then plopped down on his diapered rear and reached out his hands to me (I love the reaching out of the hands). I extended my two index fingers and he used them to pull himself up to a stand. He grinned, showing off those four teeth, which he promptly sunk into my forearm, catching me just right so as to draw blood and leave a fairly sizable bruise on my arm. Now he is known as Biter Baby. Biter Baby has also developed the charming habit of pulling himself up, which is very cute and a good developmental state but which makes bathtime very challenging. Biter Baby used to be content splashing in the water, but BB now has to try to stand up in the bathtub. When I say "no" and sit him down, his lip quivers at me.



Biter Baby has been able to chew more than forearms; he eats pretty well. Drama King, on the other hand, is just as difficult regarding food as ever. At dinner, DK will get his food and immediately ask for a snack, to which mean mom and dad tell him "You need to eat your dinner." He will then give us his most pitiful look and sigh "You say that every night." You'd think he would get used to it.

Ah Drama King and Biter Baby. What can I say? I love them.

Blogs About Books (and Stuff) Part 1

This is the part 1 of a planned two-part series of blogs on the subject of books. Part 2 is in the planning stages; expect it in time for your Christmas stockings.

I was moved to write this when I received my water bill this month. Usually, receiving bills in the mail prompts me to put them into a large folder and ignore them, but this bill had a letter from our local mayor included. Generally I skim such letters before recycling them into a large box I call "Stuff I don't care about" but something in this letter moved me and I knew I had to write about it.

There is a spot on the form letter that deals with recycling various household items to local nonprofit agencies -- an idea I fully support. There is a subsection "BOOKS" that reads as follows: "only morally appropriate books accepted".

I've been mulling over that phrase; I can't stop myself really. Do I even own a "morally appropriate book"? I don't know if I have read a "morally appropriate book" since third grade. I'm not sure I would know what a morally appropriate book is and whether I would want that poison in my home.

I'm fairly certain that this blog (and all of the shit contained herein -- see, there I go) is not "morally appropriate". I'm writing a book -- yeah, I said it, I am writing a book and I am really, really certain that it is not "morally appropriate". I hope that it is funny (above all) and maybe a pinch thought-provoking about matters of love and sex and friendship and sex and a bit of sex, but I certainly hope that should it one day grace the shelves of our local bookstores that it will not be picked up, browsed and purchased because it appears to be "morally appropriate".

I know, I know, I am treading down well-worn paths here since I already did a blog extolling the virtues of porn. Still, if there comes a time that one of the morally inappropriate books currently on my shelves needs a good home, I shall not donate said book to the local nonprofit agencies. Oh, no. I will lovingly stick it in an envelope, carefully address it and mail it off to you, dear reader.

You will take good care of it, won't you?

I Asked for the Green and Got the Pink

So my last blog left off with my asking my boss for my paycheck and my not being able to get a response from him. Well, late Sunday night I received a call, not from my boss, but from his wife, informing me that they would have to let me go. Well, that's some kind of record, isn't it? I worked there for a whole week. Then, apparently, my boss decided that I was the kind of pain-in-the-ass employee who expects a paycheck for work I've done. I was informed that my check would be mailed to me. Day after day after day passed and no check. On Thursday, Jeff said that he would "take care of it".

Jeff drove to the office. As soon as my former boss was informed that "Kimberly's husband" was there to see him, he actually issued the check, asking Jeff how our last name is spelled. He then launched into this big story about how he has a small office and that I was a good worker but that he just couldn't afford to keep me on. I am so happy that I went through the interview process, got hired, attempted to implement a new filing system, learned a new computer system and got let go all in the same week.

I am left scrambling around, trying to find a new job again. Needless to say, I am done with lawyers. Done, done, done. No mas.

Anybody hiring? I am a good employee. I have skills.

I do expect to get paid for working, though.

Will that be a problem?

One Week, One Post

This morning it was very difficult to get out of bed. Let's examine this past week and see if we can't find a cause, together. I have so many blog topics spinning around my brain that I am trying to fit into this one blog, so if it gets too long, feel free to skim ahead.

MONDAY: I have an appointment at 11:00 a.m. with an office that has offered me a job. I get to the office and it turns out that my "appointment" means that I am starting work. I immediately get to answer phones from angry clients. I meet "L", the other legal assistant and I immediately recognize her. We worked at an office in 1999 (three jobs ago for me) for two weeks. She put in her notice just as I started, though I wasn't hired to replace her, but to replace someone at the office who had already left. That was a large office and two people were hired right after I started to replace L and another girl who had been fired during my first week at that office. L worked for Jon and I ended up working for Jon as well a few months later when the person hired to replace L quit as well. (More about Jon later).

TUESDAY: A very crazy day work-wise. My boss, true to his word, is not in the office very much, but spends much of the day in court and otherwise occupied outside the office. L leaves to go to the courthouse with a client to file some paperwork, so I am left alone on my second day to meet with walk-in clients and to answer the very crazy phone lines. I am supposed to leave at 5:00 (and will not get paid for working past 5:00) but there are clients with appointments at 5:00 and 5:30 and still, no boss and no L. Finally L returns at 6:00 and my boss a few minutes later. I don't get home until after 6:30.

WEDNESDAY: Jude's 4th birthday. The birthday is most important, so whatever happens at work that day doesn't matter. After work, I run home quickly so we can eat a quick dinner, give Jude his present and get ready for the fair. Yes, readers, it is fair time again. A really wonderful way to spend Jude's birthday. This year the heat is not nearly as oppressive (as I am not nearly as pregnant). I am able to ride on rides with Jude while Sully and Daddy look on. We all share a very tasty elephant ear. Well, Sully eats some fruit puffs instead, gnawing them with his four(!) teeth and seems very happy with them.



THURSDAY: Showing what a dedicated employee I am, I work only half a day. In all fairness, though, I did tell my boss that I would need Thursday afternoon off since I had to take Jude and Sullivan to the doctor; Jude has his four-year check-up and Sullivan has his nine-month check-up. Jude is 36 inches and 28 pounds and Sullivan is 30 inches and 20 pounds. Both boys are very healthy. We talk to the doctor about possible emotional/learning situations with Jude and agree that we will test Jude for ADD if needed when he starts school. Tough to say whether it is normal enthusiasm or something more than gets Jude moving every moment of the day that he is awake.

After being assured that the children are fine, I go downtown to the office of my old boss, Jon. Jon has ruined me for bosses forever; I know that. No other boss will ever be Jon. I was spoiled. We worked together at the big ol' law firm where I toiled for 6 years and we got along well. We had a whole team that actually worked well together and we would ever all go to lunch together sometimes. Jon and I even shot a commercial together, though it was one that would never air. The camera crew was there and it was meant to be just a quick shot for a montage of lawyers and legal assistants. However, we could not get through the shot without laughing. I think the advertising people hated us. It was his fault. I was sitting at a desk and he walked over to me, handed me a file and said in a low voice "Here you go, dummy." There was no microphone, so no one heard except me, but we couldn't really be serious after that. The shot never made any of the commericials that air ad nauseum during daytime television. (Seriously -- sit home one day and watch tv and see how many ads for lawyers there are.)

That was just one day, but that was Jon. He is a lawyer, a good lawyer, and he has his own office. We worked well together and he works well with the woman that he hired at his new office. It had been a couple of years since I had seen him, as he left the firm three years ago and I left 2 1/2 years ago -- left because I was escorted out, but let's just say it was my choice to leave.

So, I go to see Jon on an actual business matter (a question about incorporating a business) and our visit extends beyond that to play catch-up on the last couple of years. I realize then that I had missed him. It is weird, that feeling. It didn't happen when I first saw him after all this time. It is when he mentions someone we both know and we start really talking and reconnecting. It was the same feeling I felt when my friend, Brian, visited a couple of weeks ago. It didn't happen when I saw him or even when we started talking, but the first time Brian laughed, I realized that I had really missed him and I silently cursed him, wishing again that he and his wife lived closer so that the four of us could spend more time together talking and, yes, laughing together. We could always crack each other up, so laughter was a strong reminder of our friendship.

When I ask Jon about the lawyer I am working for, the first thing he says is "He just got his license back after being suspended for 6 months." This is not news to me, as Wednesday I had found paperwork in the filing that basically gave me that same information. What an exciting adventure this job is turning out to be.

FRIDAY: Back to the grind of work. A very busy day that culminates in my driving downtown to the courthouse (across the street from Jon's office) to file an emergency petition for a client. Then, I come back to the office to the sight of L and T (T works in the office part-time) waxing one another's mustaches (no ephemism there -- there were really waxing each other's mustaches with an over-the-counter wax). Very interesting. I hang out until 5:00, then ask L if she has received her paycheck yet. She says no, but that we get paid every Friday and sometimes it is really late in the day. "How much later can it be?" I ask. "It is already 5:00". I wait until 5:30 and then must go to the post office so that file-marked papers from the court go into that day's mail, but I tell L that I will be back. I get back to the office before 6:00 and the doors are locked. When I get home, I call the office and L is still there. She seems shocked that the doors are locked and double-checks. Sure enough, our boss is gone and he has locked the doors and we never received our checks. L gives me our boss's cell number and I call and leave him a message, asking him to call me about the paycheck. He doesn't call me back. Late Friday night L calls and tells me that she talked to T. T talked to our boss before she left work on Friday and he says he doesn't have the money to pay us but that he will pay us on Monday. T says that she is okay with that and she thinks L will be okay with that, but that he should talk to me since it is my first week. But he never said a word to me, even though I was at the office until 5:30. Bogus.

SATURDAY: I wake up this morning to discover that I cannot get out of bed. My back is sore, spasming and I can only hobble around. We go to a graduation party and I sit in a chair in the shade, trying not to move. No medications are helping; pain is strong. Twice I had needles inserted into my spine (for my c-sections) so I know a bit of what back pain feels like. This hurts.

SUNDAY: Back pain no better today and I struggle to get out of bed. Jeff is working and I cannot pick up twenty-pound Sully without pain so I call my dad and stepmom and they drive down to help. Jeff gets home and he takes me to an urgent care center. The doctor prescribes a muscle relaxer, which I took before I type this (which accounts for any misspelling, Josh!).

I can hardly wait to see what tomorrow holds. I do hope it holds a paycheck, though . . .

So Much to Say, So Little Blog

So, I have been away again. It turns out that finding a job is a job in itself. It has been a wonderful four (4) weeks with no work, but it turns out that my theory that I don't really need a paycheck was, in fact, completely wrong.

A lot has happened since my last blog. I am sure I will be forgetting something (and, if you read Jeff's blog, then you are likely already caught up. If you are Jeff, you are likely already caught up as well). And these topics may or may not gets blog postings of their own, depending on whether I actually write them.

First: a new job. I just got the call this past Friday, informing me that they wanted to offer me a job. I go on Monday morning. It is an office job. I will elaborate more after my meeting on Monday.

My friends, Brian and Ashley, visited last Friday on their way back home to the almost-deep-South. It was great to see them, even if our visit was too short. Four adults. Three children, all under the age of 4. No one wanted to sit by our table at the restaurant; I don't understand why. I admire them for traveling with a little baby. Even a brief trip to Michigan to visit with my parents can sometimes be a trial with the two boys. We've never attempted a multi-state trip. We will, though; eventually we'll just have to suck it up.

We've been trying to soak up as much sun and pool time as possible. Jude and Sully are both naturals in the water, so we spend lots of time in our little pool. Jeff has designated himself the "pool boy" and he does a splendid job keeping it in shape (just as he does with the house, so thank you, Jeff).

Jude's birthday is coming up this week. We had his annual party with family and friends at that place where grownups can be kids. Seriously. My brother took off as soon as he got there to go beat out some kids at skee-ball and I didn't see him again for a long, long time. When he returned to our tables, he did so bearing an armful of tickets, which we promptly used to buy stock in the restaurant. With the leftover tickets, we "purchased" stuff that we could have purchased outright with actual cash, but it always seems more fun to do so redeeming tickets. Plus, we were able to spend time with our new "friend couple" and since we don't have many (okay, none) local friend-couples, we were very excited about that.



Why is it that other people are allowed to bring their children to such places? I thought it would be so fun just to let Jude and his cousins and friends have free reign over the place. As I have mentioned many times in this blog, I don't consider myself a great mother, but I do think I am a good mother. Good. Not great. Still, it is tough some days to see other children running amuck (I just like that phrase) with no apparent parental figure around. Jude does plenty of amuck-running, but there is always a parental figure around. He is boisterous, always ready to run and full of way too much energy. Any suggestions on how to properly channel that energy into something positive?

Yep, while I was unemployed, I did so many productive things: I got papercuts from sending out resumes, I became addicted to eBay, I watched my son learn to crawl (and to figure out that he can move from the living room into the bathroom all on his own now!) and I watched Sweeney Tood: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street. Would you like this film? If you are the sort of person who reads a title like "Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street" and decides you must see it, then you will probably like it. I loved it. Dark and bloody. And a musical. Good times.

There's more, but I will save that for another blog. So, brace yourselves.

Like A Buffett

Warren Buffett is rich. I mean, really rich. I've heard his name in connection with finances. He is a millionaire. Or a billionaire. I'm not sure which without doing actual research, but the exact nature of his "aire" doesn't matter. Just know that he is loaded.

But, this post isn't about financial-whiz, rich Warren Buffett. This, my friends (and random stranger who happens along this site and reads down this far before realizing he/she is totally lost) is all about the Jimmy.

It is summer, so my mind naturally turns to the sounds of summer and one undeniable sound of summer is the music of Jimmy Buffett. Like it or hate it, it is out there, all summer long. (But, really, even if you hate it, put down this blog now and go.)

If you are familiar at all with Buffett, it is likely for two or three songs that he recorded back in the 70s (yes, the 1970s). But, he still records new music and has just a ridiculous amount of albums put out. Seriously: it must be around 30 or so (again, not willing to do the actual research). I admire that. Not only do I like the music (which is summer encapsulated into little stories), but I admire the man himself.

Well, there is something really appealing about someone who just sets out to accomplish something and then does. He decided "Hey, I want to write and record albums" so he did. Then, eventually he bought his own label to put out his albums. There seems to be a "balls to the wall" (and I love the sheer masculinity of that term, though there is no female equivalent, nor should there be as the possibilities make me shudder) quality to him, just tossing himself into one project after another. He wanted to fly airplanes, and now he does. He decided to write a novel and he did -- and "Where is Joe Merchant?" is really funny and pretty good. Of course, there have been subsequent novels he wrote that I also enjoy. Entertaining stuff. He turned me onto Herman Wouk after he read Wouk's "Don't Stop the Carnival" and decided "Hey, that would make a nifty musical. I think I'll write and produce a musical based on that."

Sure, I am a Jimmy Buffett fan and admit that I like the wide array of songs from his career, both originals and covers (I particularly like the covers of The Grateful Dead's "Uncle John's Band" and Crosby, Stills and Nash's "Southern Cross"). But I digress (heck, this whole blog is a digression -- that's just the way my brain operates). The point (if I have one) is that Jimmy Buffett, the man who is the poster child for laid-back living, is amazingly productive. I am trying to adopt more of that into my own life, trying to throw myself into more projects, take more risks (all well within the confines of first taking care of my babies) go all ballsy (see, again with the masculine overtones without a female counterpart) and dare to dream.

So, I am daring to have a vision and trying to see it through. Of course with my astigmatism, my vision isn't always too clear. Still, no matter what, I will be just fine. After all, I'll always have Jimmy and for now, I have this beautiful sunshine as well.

You'll See Me -- At the Movies

What is this? You ask. Two posts in one week? Why, it is almost as if Kimberly just quit her job and didn't have another job and has time to spare to write blogs while she is job searching. And, if that is what you're thinking, well, I spend too much damn time talking to you. And that is all true.

I put in my two weeks' notice at work, a polite letter to break up a work relationship that just wasn't working for me anymore. Full of platitudes, and "it isn't you job, it's me." No, it wasn't me at all. It was totally job -- specifically, my boss. Said boss decided that he didn't want the full two weeks, so I just finished out the week instead. Rather than feeling panic right now, I feel very calm, like some very good opportunity is just waiting for me to spring on it. Mostly, I feel pretty good.

So, this past week has been filled with job interviews, but no job offers yet. I think that will happen very soon, though.

I did take some time off on Thursday to take Jude to the movies. A local theater is playing children's movies on Wednesday and Thursday mornings at 10:00 a.m. with free admission. A pretty sweet deal, and now I had the chance to take Jude. This week's offering was "Alvin and the Chipmunks".

I drove Sully to daycare since there is no way he would be able to sit through a movie and drove Jude across town to the theater. He was bouncing in his seat in that hyper way of his and I looked in the mirror at him. "Mom," he said as he was bouncing, "I am doing my happy dance."

The movie experience went pretty well. The theater was pretty crowded and for a time the familiar guilt crept in when I realized that most of the moms in the theater were likely stay-at-home moms. And, sure, if I wanted to give up the luxuries like food and shelter, I could be a stay-at-home mom, too. And usually it doesn't bother me anymore, but sometimes I still feel the guilt. Still wish every Thursday morning could be Jude and Mommy movie time.

Jude was bouncing in his seat, chowing on popcorn. Yep, the really "good" moms all brought healthy snacks for their spawn, while I bought popcorn for mine. Popcorn is essential to the movie-going experience. Carrot sticks might be healthier; but I was determined to give Jude the whole experience.

We both enjoyed the movie (though we did have to get up twice to go to the bathroom). Jude sat in his own seat for much of the film, but eventually climbed over into my lap. About fifteen minutes before the end of the movie, Jude climbed over to me and whispered "I love you. Can we go to daycare now?" When we got back into the car, he said "I hope Sully had fun without me there."

I took Jude back to daycare so I could continue my job hunt. I know he doesn't love me any less because he goes to daycare. I know that ultimately I am doing the best that I can for him, making sure he is raised in a loving environment, but also making sure that he is in a great daycare where he is taken care of and where he has friends that he loves. I watched him run into the fold of kids, his skinny little legs pumping down the stairs and I couldn't help but wonder Was Alvin and the Chipmunks for me or was it for Jude? Ultimately it doesn't matter why we went, only that we went.

And ultimately what matters most is that I have a little boy with skinny legs and a big heart who loves his little brother and who shakes my whole car -- and my whole heart -- whenever he breaks into his happy dance.

Movie Review of a Movie You've Already Seen or Never Plan to See: Alvin and the Chipmunks (naturally). A cute little children's movie. I enjoyed it. Jude enjoyed it.

Song of the day: "C'mon. C'mon" by the Von Bondies. The theme song for the excellent tv show, "Rescue Me". I rewatched season 1 and have just begun season 2. Just a very well written show. Great complex characters. Excellent drama. And a kickin' theme song. Watch it -- from the beginning, of course.