Something I Have To Have

Something bizarre just happens to one's brain in the middle of the night. Perhaps it is the darkness. Perhaps it is the silence of a still house. I am not sure exactly what element it is, but the chemistry is unmistakable. Some of the most brilliant breakthroughs come in the middle of the night. Of course, some of the worst decisions are all made then so it is up to dawn's light to decide between brilliance and stupidity (there is a fine line between stupid and clever, after all).

Let's take, for example, me. I am an average gal of average intelligence. Perhaps it was the perfection of the moment that I did not want to disturb -- a sleeping (almost) five-month-old cradled in my arms -- but I did not want to put a DVD into the player so I found myself watching infomercials. I was mesmerized. Those are products that I must have. I don't know how I have lived to this age without having them. I stared in awe, my eyes widened at the amazing products and I knew that I was observing the work of geniuses.

The product with which I have become most familiar is the Nuwave Oven. As I watched, I knew I had to have one for my kitchen. Never mind that I am hardly proficient in the kitchen (I make a few dishes very well and am not terribly experimental). Never mind that I rarely even cook at all. That duty has fallen to Jeff, who is a good cook and master griller. I knew that life would change if only I could possess the Nuwave oven. Only the tiny infant resting in my arms prevented me from reaching the phone to order this miraculous product. I say this without a hint of sarcasm (rare for me, but true). I truly needed to possess this item.

The other product that danced around before my eyes was Bare Minerals. I watched the miraculous transformation of average-looking women to beautiful and I knew that I must have this product. I am an ideal candidate for such a product and without it I will never be beautiful. Such were the thoughts racing through my head as I watched the television set, transfixed. Granted these products are expensive, but isn't that how I know that they are good?

Then, in the light of day, cooler heads prevailed. The fog was lifted. By cooler heads, I don't mean mine, of course. I mean Jeff's. He went to great lengths to explain to me why we don't need these products, but I was not convinced. Maybe in the daytime everything is clearer, sharper, more in focus. But the remarkable nature of these products cannot change with dawn's first light. These are still products I need. I need to be a better cook. I need more even skin. I need to just borrow your credit card for a quick moment. I will pay you back -- I promise. And just think of the home-cooked meals and flawless skin you'll be a part of. That is priceless.